Nothing Is Personal
The best CEOs and leaders stop interpreting events as a judgment of themselves.
I’ve found that one of the reasons founders plateau has nothing to do with strategy. It has to do with where they place their attention.
When a company is getting off the ground, it’s natural for a founder to make everything personal:
An investor passes? They don’t believe in me.
An employee quits? I must be a bad leader.
A customer churns? My product isn’t good enough.
A board member asks hard questions? They’re questioning whether I’m the right person for the job.
Events becomes a reflection of you and what you’ve done. But somewhere along the way, great CEOs make a subtle shift. They stop asking: “What does this mean about me?” and start asking: “What does this tell me about the business?” The difference is huge.
A customer isn’t criticizing you. They’re telling you where the product falls short.
An employee isn’t rejecting you. They’re showing you something about your culture, your management, or their own goals.
A board member isn’t attacking you. They’re trying to improve the odds that the company succeeds.
When everything is personal, you spend your energy defending yourself. But, when nothing is personal, you spend your energy improving the company (and often yourself). Ironically, that’s also when leadership becomes much easier because attention shifts away from protecting yourself and toward serving the company and your mission.
I’ve noticed that the CEOs who improve the fastest aren’t necessarily smarter. They’re just less interested in themselves. They recover from feedback faster. They change their minds more easily. They don’t waste their emotional energy wondering how something reflects on them.
Great CEOs don’t have fewer problems. They just spend less time asking: “What does this say about me?” And more time asking: “What should we do next?” One question creates victims. The other creates builders and leaders.